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ENB #36 Popcorn Lung, Bush’s Latest Moronic Press Conference, Passive Aggressive Tazing, Bush’s New Math, Dan Rather
Artwork by Roger Smalls
direct link to small ipod version of show
transcript:
HELLO I’M RICHARD BLUESTEIN AND THIS IS THE ECLECTIC NEWS BRIEF FOR FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2007. THIS PODCAST IS SPONSORED BY PODSHOW AND GODADDY. CHOOSE GODADDY TO RELIABLY HOST ALL OF YOUR DOMAN NAMES. ENTER CODES INSANE1, INSANE2, OR INSANE 3 WHEN YOU CHECK OUT AT GODADDY.COM. PODSHOW.COM IS THE THE BEST WAY TO HOST YOUR AUDIO AND VIDEO PODCASTS. UNLIKE YOUTUBE, PODSHOW ALLOWS FOR LONG-FORM CONTENT AT VERY HIGH QUALITY. THIS PODCAST FOR EXAMPLE, IS OFFERED IN A 720P HD FORMAT IF YOU GO TO INSANEFILMS720.PODSHOW.COM.
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THERE IS A NEW DISORDER EMERGING FROM THE MURKY DEPTHS OF CORPORATE GREED. IT’S CALLED POPCORN LUNG. ACCORDING TO THE SOCIETY OF ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM, THE EPA, LAST YEAR, *BURIED* A REPORT ON THE HEALTH RISKS FROM THE BUTTERY FLAVORING CALLED DIACETYL. THE MICROWAVE POPCORN FLAVORING PRODUCES AN INCURABLE AND ULTIMATELY FATAL LUNG DISEASE IN WORKERS EXPOSED TO IT OCCUPATIONALLY. WORSE YET, A DOCTOR CAME FORTH WITH THE CASE OF A CONSUMER OF MICROWAVE POPCORN WHO CONTRACTED THE DISEASE. THE EPA TO THIS DAY HAS *NOT RELEASED* THE REPORT TO THE PUBLIC. THE EPA HAS, HOWEVER, GIVEN THE REPORT TO THE POPCORN INDUSTRY. THIS FROM THE SAME EPA WHICH CAUSED THOUSANDS TO GET LUNG DISEASES BY NOT WARNING THEM OF THE DANGERS OF WORKING AT GROUND ZERO.
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DURING HIS PRESS CONFERENCE, THE IDIOT AND CHEAT WAS ASKED IF THERE IS A RISK OF RECESSION. YOU WOULD THINK THAT HE *MIGHT* TAKE THIS QUESTION SERIOUSLY SINCE ONE MILLION AMERICANS LOST THEIR HOMES DUE TO FORECLOSURE IN THE PAST YEAR. INSTEAD THE MORON ANSWERED AS FOLLOWS: QUOTE. YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO TALK TO ECONOMISTS. I THINK I GOT A B IN ECON 101. I GOT AN A, HOWEVER, IN KEEPING TAXES LOW (THE KISS ASS PRESS CORE LAUGHS HERE) AND BEING FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE WITH THE PEOPLE’S MONEY. WE’VE SUBMITTED A PLAN THAT WILL ENABLE THIS BUDGET TO BECOME BALANCED (NOTE THE USE OF PASSIVE VOICE HERE) BY 2012. – JUST IN TIME FOR ANOTHER CORPORATE STOOGE TO BE FORCED INTO THE WHITE HOUSE LIKE THE FECES OF AN ELEPHANT BEING PLUNGED INTO A FRENCH TOILET. BUSH ALSO SAID QUOTE AND WE CAN BALANCE THE BUDGET WITHOUT RAISING TAXES. UNQUOTE. I BELIVE WHAT HE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT *SOMEONE ELSE* CAN CLEAN UP MY MESS BECAUSE I AM AN SPOILED BRAT WHO NEVER LEARNED TO CLEAN UP HIS ROOM.
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THE PRESIDENT HAS PROMISED TO VETO A BILL WHICH WOULD GUARANTEE HEALTH INSURANCE COVERAGE FOR ALL CHILDREN WHOSE PARENTS MAKE LESS THAN EIGHTY-THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS PER YEAR. HIS ARGUMENT IS THAT KEEPING CHILDREN FROM DYING OF CURABLE DISEASES WOULD RESULT IN MORE OF, *THAT GREAT EVIL*, GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTHCARE. PUSSY REPORTERS FAILED TO POINT OUT TO BUSH THAT GOVERNMENT RUN HEALTHCARE FOR CHILDREN IS BETTER THAN NO HEALTHCARE AT ALL. MICHAEL MOORE HAS CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THAT IN OTHER COUNTRIES, GOVERNMENTS DO A FAR BETTER AND MORE EFFICIENT JOB AT RUNINNG HEALTHCARE THAN CORPORATIONS WHOSE PRIME MOTIVE IS MAKING MONEY AND HIPOCRITICAL TV COMMERCIALS.
MEANWHILE SADISTIC MORON BUSH IS ONCE AGAIN BLACKMAILING CONGRESS. BUSH PUTS CONGRESS AT FAULT FOR PUTTING FORTH A PLAN WHICH THEY KNOW BUSH WILL VETO. ACCORDING TO BUSH, BY ATTEMPTING TO PUSH THROUGH A COMPREHENSIVE BILL INSTEAD OF A BILL WHICH PROTECTS INSURANCE COMPANIES AND *NOT* CHILDREN, CONGRESS IS ACTUALLY FORCING ALL S-CHIP COVERAGE TO LAPSE. THAT’S HARD TO FOLLOW. I KNOW. TO PUT IT MORE CLEARLY, THE S-CHIP PROGRAM IS ALREADY IN PLACE BUT CONGRESS WANTS TO DRASTICALLY IMPROVE IT. BUSH WANTS ONLY TO GIVE IT 5% MORE FUNDING SO THAT HE CAN AFFORD TO HAVE HIS POKER BUDDIES FROM BLACKWATER MELT TINY INFANTS TO THEIR MOTHERS WHILE STOPPING AT BAGHDAD STOPLIGHTS. BUT SEE THE S-CHIP PROGRAM RUNS OUT VERY SOON IF IT IS NOT RENEWED. SO BUSH IS SAYING THAT ALL S-CHIP CARE WILL END BECAUSE HE, BUSH, WILL NOT SIGN THE BILL WHICH THE LEGISLATVIE BRANCH OF *OUR* GOVERNEMNT AGREED UPON.
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WHEN ASKED BY THE *PRESS* ABOUT ALAN GREENSPAN’S SCATHING CRITIQUE OF THE PRESIDENT, BUSH SLYLESSLY CHANGED THE SUBJECT TO SOMETHING HE AND GREENSPAN BOTH AGREE ON: GETTING RID OF SOCIAL SECURITY. THE PRESIDENT SAID QUOTE: GREENSPAN AND I SPENT A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUT THE UNFUNDED LIABILITIES INHERENT IN SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE. AND HE’S CONCERNED ABOUT THOSE UNFUNDED LIABILITIES AS AM I. AND THAT’S WHY I WENT IN FRONT OF CONGRESS, TALKING ABOUT HOW TO REFORM SOCIAL SECURITY SO THAT YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE WORKING AREN’T PAING PAYROLL TAXES INTO A SYSTEM THAT’S GOING BROKE. UNQUOTE. THIS WAS ANOTHER CIRCULAR STATEMENT FROM OUR C MINUS PRESIDENT. SOCIAL SECURITY IS NOT IN DANGER. IF THESE SO CALLED LIABILITIES CONTINUE TO BE FUNDED, THEN THEY ARE BY DEFINITION NOT UNFUNDED. ARE AMERICANS REALLY STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THIS DRECK? IF SO GET ME ON A BIG JET AIRPLANE. COME ON COME ON. GET GOING. BIG WHEEL KEEP ON TURNING PROUD MARY. COME MOON. BUSH AND THE OTHER ‘YOU *CAN* TAKE IT WITH YOU’ REPUBLICANS WOULD RATHER SOCIAL SECURITY TAXES BE DIVERTED INTO RECKLESSLY MANAGED WALL STREET FUNDS.
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EDITOR AND PUBLISHER- A BLOG I FREQUENTLY QUOTE, POSTED A BIO OF THE MAN WHO GOT TAZERED AT THE JOHN KERRY SPEECH IN FLORIDA. THE BIO REAKED OF THINLY VIELED JEALOUSY. AFTER ALL, ANDREW MEYER RECEIVED AT LEAST HALF A MILLION DOWNLOADS OF HIS VIDEO. THE EDITOR AND PUBLISHER HEADLINE READ QUOTE STUDENT TASERED WHILE QUESTIONING KERRY WAS, OF COURSE, A QUASI-JOURNALIST. UNQUOTE. CAN YOU IMAGINE A MORE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AND INSULTING HEADLINE WHICH NEGATES THE IMPORTANCE OF THE HEROIC ACT UNDERTAKEN BY MR MEYER. THE E&P ARTICLE WENT ON TO DISCREDIT ANDREW MEYER BY MENTIONING VARIOUS INTERNET PRANKS WHICH WERE COMPLETELY HARMLESS AND HAD NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH HIS JOURNALISTIC ACTIVITIES. ANDREW MEYER ASKED QUESTIONS THAT NEEDED TO BE ASKED, AND WOULD NOT ACCEPT NO ANSWER AS AN ANSWER. ANDREW MEYER DID WHAT THE SO CALLED REAL JOURNALISTS SHOULD BE DOING, BUT ARE AFRAID TO DO. SO INSTEAD THEY REACT BY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE JEALOUSY BASED CHARACTER ASSASINATION. WELL, ECLECTIC NEWS BRIEF APPLAUDS ANDREW MEYER FOR TAKING A STAND, AND IF HE IS A QUASI JOURNALIST, WELL I’LL TAKE QUASI-JOURNALISM OVER ‘REAL’ JOURNALISM- KATIE KOURIC AND ALL- ANY DAY OF THE WEEKS.
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OH AND SPEAKING OF JOURNALISM,DAN RATHER, THE VETRAN JOURNALIST WHO WAS REPLACED BY KATIE KOURIC IS SUING CBS FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. DAN RATHER CLAIMS HE WAS FIRED BY CBS IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE WHITE HOUSE. IF TRUE, THIS IS A CLEAR VIOLATION OF THE LAW WHICH FORBIDS PROPAGANDIZING WITHIN THE UNITED STATES. NOT THAT IT ISN’T BEING VIOLATED EVERYWHERE ANYWAY. TIME TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
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PLEASE SEND COMMENTS, NEWS ITEMS, AND QUESTIONS TO [email protected]. I’M ALSO LOOKING FOR ITNERESTING AND PROVOCATIVE BACKGROUND FOOTAGE FOR THIS SHOW. IF YOU HAVE ORIGINAL CONTENT THAT FITS THE FORMAT OF THIS SHOW, I WILL GLADLY INCLUDE A PROMOTION FOR YOUR BLOG, VLOG, PODCAST OR WHATEVER. I’M RICHARD BLUESTEIN AND DIT WAS HET NIEWS.
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