Boyfriend in a box.


I know. I know.

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see richard bluestein on wikipedia

25 replies on “Boyfriend in a box.”

They didn’t even have the decency to put him into an urn? Ooooh, I bet they would have charged for that, must have been an add-on. Oooh no, they gotta keep the shipping costs down.


I watch all your stuff and almost never comment (just one of those lurking internet fans) but this was “heavy.” My condolences, Richard.

[…] t from David Huth Pets from Ryanne and Uncle Monsterface Cardiology from Nathan Miller. Boyfriend in a Box from Richard Bluestein. Mea Culpa Bullshit from Human Dog. A Video for February from Alexande […]

hmm, how about you bake some cupcakes, but instead of using flour, add some of the cremated remains to it too, just to see how it comes out. if you go with the cement thing though, make sure to record it!
by the way, who is (or was) that man?

Thank you for sharing this…it had to have been hard as hell.

I remember 2 yrs. ago Christmas, when my grandmother passed away. My dad, stepmom and I got “Grandma In A Box.” It’s a profound experience, but I wasn’t sure how to handle it…it was the culmination of 81 years of life. Down to that small package.

Nobody can know what you’re going through right now, unless they’ve gone through it as well. But I hope you know that we are all on “your side,” and there are so many people who care.

(Christ, how trite that even sounds. But we mean it…)

If it’s not too late…I had a patient who saved a bit of her lover’s ashes and had them placed in a tiny silver urn, which she wore around her neck.

Welcome to the ashes club! I have the ashes of my lover who died in 1990, the ashes of his favorite cat and the ashes of my favorite dog. I’m supposed to be cremated when I die and our ashes are supposed to be mixed and scattered together. It was an idea we got from watching Ted Koppel on Nightline in the late 1980s while my lover was dying.

It is hard to think of anything to do with ashes. Yes, as someone mentioned in an earlier post, you can have them turned into a diamond.

I once suggested that the ashes of people who died of AIDS be turned into cement blocks and that they be used to build a museum or a memorial.

I’ve tried to find your email address. I want to sign up for faggrtegator. My vlog has a lot of gay material in it. However, I can’t get in because my name is taken and my email address is supposedly being used by someone else.

My volg is
My email is [email protected]
Any assistance would be appreciated.

I heard you say at the end that there has to be a more creative idea out there. It was almost a rhetorical question but then, I though again that maybe not.

I just asked the question this morning on another blog, “well…other more creative ideas have to be out there…” regarding a similar issue.

My only creative response is a purple flag. What o’ the heck does that mean? Well, you could take that plastic bag and wrap it in purple literally. I like purple velvet, I also like a raw type of purple silk. Maybe both? You could then release him drapped in well…you add the descriptor for yoursef there.

Two feathers might be nice too. One that could respresent you and the other him.
Feel free to e-mail me anytime if you want to know more – I’ll be sure to check the e-mail addy I provided.


We don’t bury our dead in my family. We cremate and put them in an urn on the mantle until family feuds mean someone finally buries the urns out of spite and without bothering to inform any other family members. It’s like a tradition. Not nearly as fun as a wake, though.

My grandfather posthumously attended two of his daughters’ weddings (second weddings). All three of my former housepets are in little cedar boxes on a shelf in my home.

I like the hourglass suggestion, too.

To make cement, you buy a bag of cement mix at the hardware store and mix it, usually with sand (use the ash instead) and water. You can also get a kit to make paving stones, which might be more decorative and appropriate (I’m not sure if Juan was the kind of person would would like that or not).

If you mix it with some kind of ceramic or clay, sculpt it, and fire it, you could make a new, sentimental set of dishes for the pup. Not that the dog will probably notice, but you’d know.

One of my friends wants to be turned into the ugliest, tackiest lamp or vase evar after she dies. She’s hoping her children will fight over who has to take her, so she can continue to be burden on them long after her earthly influence is gone.

I would not bake with human remains though– it’s not especially sanitary, and there is a massive difference in the chemical composition between flour and ash. Flour will turn into food. Ash will never turn back into something edible, so it’ll make the baked good fall apart and be rather unpalatable.

Anyway, I think it’s fair to say my jaw dropped when I realized what kind of box you were opening. I probably would have figured it out sooner if this weren’t the first vlog post of yours I’ve seen. My thanks for not turning away from the camera in this time– grief expresses itself in many ways, and for some of us, handling the physical remains of a loved one with kid gloves and sacred reverence isn’t right– not for ourselves, nor for the one we’ve lost.

Your ability to stare beyond/through life amazes me. Your dog seems to remember your boyfriend. Nervous to see him again, a few licks hello and then he was off again.

I am sorry for your loss.

Supposedly the puppeteer Bil Baird kept his wife Cora’s ashes in an urn on the mantelpiece, and would introduce her to guests: “And this is Cora.”

Well, this is first time evr actually veiwing one of your vlogs. It will of course be the last. I dont consider myself to be a very sentimental person, at all. However what you did on display for the whole vlogging community was by far out of line. I assume the ashes were those of your boyfriend and I dont presume to know what your relationship was like but I assume it was as vile and bitter as the person you have now become.

Randy Wicker, that’s not what you said two days ago.

People who post while in drinking blackouts are so not cool.

I didn’t get where I am by being stupid, Randy. You spot it, you got it.

I posted a very pointed comment here earlier. Now I have come to see that I’m being confused with Randy Wicker. So let me clear up the confusion. I’m actually a friend of his and I would never want him to take the flak of something I said. That in mind, I meant what I said about the disgusting amounts of venom that oozed from this vlog. -L. Oliver

I’ve been urged to explain that in detail Randy Wicker is my roommate. He showed me the vlog. I must also point out that he thought I was being overly critical. I apologize for any confusion on that matter. I have helped him with technical problems, so I of course use his computer from time to time. I didnt realize that posting a comment would appear under his user name. To rap this all up if you need to verify who I am I can be reached via email at pheonix1811@yahoo. For the record this is exactly why I have never posted a comment, it just gets too messy. -Lavar Oliver

Speaking of the boyfriend in a box, have you Googled “Juan Montealegre”? In your film he may be in a box or a bag or on your head or getting licked by the dog but he is also, now, a piece of internet history. Unless he absolutely dispised anything to do with the spot light, you did a nice thing, Richard. Of course, if he did hate it that much, he probably wouldn’t have been hanging around with you.

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